My First Breath

Today is exactly 36 years since the day I crawled out of my cramped and dark living conditions and took my first breath of air. I was blind, starked naked and in need of food. For 10 long agonising months I was living in dark, lonely and cramped conditions.
There were no TV, no PS2 and no Internet (to surf p0rn). Food was in abundance and of course free, though I vaguely remembered how it tasted. I always fed on time and not sure what I went into my stomach.I vividly remember that there was plenty of liquid all around me. It was as if I was constanly swimming and couldn’t drown.
Funny feeling though, floating in a small place with nothing much to do but to wait and wait and wait for 10 agonising months and then ‘BAMMMMM!!!!’…you’re out. Someone pulled me out from that cramped living conditions. I said to myself..”Hey….who da fook are you barging into my comfy place to drag me out!!!”.I tried my darnest best to stay in but the bugger pulled a cord that was attached to my belly button. I said to myself, “Uh oh, I’m a goner now”.
And so I slid down a tunnel head first. DAMN!!!..my head hurt because the “Exit” door was so small. Finally, inch by inch I was dragged out and turn upside down.Then some wiseass slapped by butt like he has a fetish for smooth soft asses. DAMN!!!!! my ass hurts!!!!! I was then wrapped in some white coloured cloth like a burrito and placed in the arms of the most beautiful chick I’ve eversince in my life. This chick happens to be my Mum. Mum was so warm and tender and I just slept in her arms.
But then I started to think. NO MORE FREE FOOD, NO MORE FREE RENTAL!!!!!! I HAVE TO WORK TO EAT AND PAY RENT. LIFE SUCKS!!! I WAS BETTER OF IN THE CRAMP LIVING CONDITIONS!!!!!
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2 thoughts on “My First Breath

  1. rofizan says:

    Wah..ur mom kept u inside for 10 months ah?? Not 9 meh? hahah…Happy Birthday dude! My u live long and properous! May the force be with u!

  2. Khim Foh says:

    Peeps – She was having 2nd thoughts about giving birth to me. That’s why I was put on hold another month

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