Category Archives: Humour

Where were you when the Death Star fell?

Wahahahahaha….watch this video about a couple of Stormtroopers recalling about the destruction of the Death Star and watch the last part is so funny lah wei.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1920944

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24 Postures of Taijiquan…

..according to sources from the Mountains of Woo Tan ..(I made that one up)..taiji is a form of exercise to help cleanse the mind and soul. It’s supposed to help one to achieve a self actualization and achieve greater mental strength.

My wife upon her return from a one week business trip in China many weeks ago decided that I should I enlist a help of one famous taichi master living in the Mountains of Woo Tan..(I made that one up). I told my wife that in no circumstances I need to seek a help of some so called taichi master to enable me to achieve self actualization. I don’t believe in such a thing called self actualization. Give me a 50″ LCD Panel TV with access to all the channels in the world,  game consoles (XBOX, PS2, Wii) , an endless supply of beer and free access to Hasbro Star Wars merchandise and I am a happy and contented man. Who cares about self actualization!!!!

But being a caring wife that she is, she decided to buy me something wearable (a bloody tee shirt lah) to remind me to practice taijiquan in the hope that I will attain self actualization.

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MAMMA-MIA!!!

ha..ha..ha..ha…I couldn’t stop laughing when I watched this video of former F1 racer, Ricardo Patrese and now an F1 Italian TV commentator , takes his wife along for a spin on the new Honda Civic Type R car in the racing circuit in Spain, Jerez to be more precise.

What made me laugh the most is his wife’s reaction to his driving – simply priceless and to top it of, both of them didn’t know that there was a video camera recording their reactions. Patrese seems to be smiling the entire moment.

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Nasir….

Received a call from my mobile phone yesterday and the conversation when like this…

Me…..: Hello
Caller.: Nasir …

Me…..: Uhh..wei it’s me lah
Caller.: Who ? Khee Wai ah ?

Me…..: Aiyoh…it’s your husband lah
Caller.: Huh ?..aiyah…sorry lah…I thought you were someone else..he he he..sorry I called the wrong number..he hehe

Me…..: Aiyoh…(Both of us ended the call)

The caller happened to be my wife….and she couldn’t recognize my voice..!!!! I think she has been under a lot of stress from work or either that she was a bit blur or both.

Some words of wisdom about marriage…

Ya know, marriage is great and all but at times, it gets a bit complicated. To me, its difficult to understand the logic of marriage. I am still trying my very best to understand how marriage between a man and woman works. Due to my inability to describe the complexities of a marriage, I have posted some famous quotes to help me better understand what is marriage is all about.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.” – David Bissonette

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her”. – Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.– Hemant Joshi

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Socrates

“Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.”
Dumas

“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”
Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henny Youngman

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
Sam Kinison

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
James Holt McGavran

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
Anonymous

“You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.”
Henny Youngman

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong”.
Milton Berle

“Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.”
Anonymous

80% Malaysians studying law in UK

Subject: 80% Malaysians studying law in UK

UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of your visit please?

Visitor: I’m here to study law, sir.

Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia.

Visitor: Why do you say that?

Officer: Well, i’ve been here for a good twenty years, and I’d say 80%
of Malaysians I see here say they’re here to read law.

Visitor: Oh, really? That’s really something i never knew. Hard to
believe in fact.

Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next
Malaysian comes along, and I’ll bet he’s here to read law.

*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter*

Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?

Ah Chong:Study lorr…………………

You’ve heard of emoticons, here are the ASSICONS

(_!_) a regular ass :

(__!__) a fat ass :

(!) a tight ass :

(_*_) a sore ass :

{_!_} a swishy ass :

(_o_) an ass that’s been around :

(_x_) kiss my ass :

(_X_) leave my ass alone :

(_zzz_) a tired ass :

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass :

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass :

(_?_) Dumb Ass :